Author’s Note

You joke about hockey catboys ONE TIME and this is what happens.

The fic is divided up by days, mostly, so be sure to click through at the bottom of the page. Every dropdown is interactive and you should click them! It’s also currently a living webpage, so uh, come back if you want to see what happens.

The rule for who’s real or not in this fic is - if you could’ve seen them on TV or YouTube, they’re probably real people. All of competitive is real. Almost all of the background characters are fictional. If they somehow match real people at any organisation, it’s entirely coincidental and I am really sorry. If I’ve matched a social media username, that is also entirely by accident and I am sorry for that too.

The manga pages are drawn by the best enabler junmielle, who you can follow on Tumblr. She’s actually the one who knows what happens in Fruits Basket while I get distracted by reading up on the history of the Rogers monopoly in Canada, so thank you for keeping me “on track.”

If you are also fascinated by the disturbing implications I have created here, you can ask me questions or enable me further on Tumblr at ryan-nugenthopkins.


SPORTSNET WEST - VGK vs EDM - NOV 17 202x 2ND PERIOD 18:14 IGT

JACK: Stone trying to send the puck around the boards, but it’s caught by Darnell Nurse, keeping it in the offensive zone. Nurse, to Bouchard, one timer - just wide, ricochets off the boards. Draisaitl fighting for the puck behind the net, a vicious backcheck from Pietrangelo that sends him straight to the ice - Draisaitl is clearly in pain, McDavid beelining for Pietrangelo - and it’s become a melee as even Ryan Nugent-Hopkins joins the fray. The crowd in uproar as the ref whistles play down, trying to pull the Edmonton and Vegas players apart - Leon Draisaitl is still not moving. This one has him shaken up pretty bad, Louie.

LOUIE: Looking at the replay, you can tell it’s a nasty check from Pietrangelo. Draisaitl’s head is down, he’s not prepared, and watch as his head goes straight into the boards. Of course, Connor McDavid there immediately to defend his A, then everyone else gets caught up in the pushing and shoving.

JACK: The Oilers medical officer is now out on the ice as the referees are discussing penalties…

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<aside> 📝 @Bob_Stauffer Nov 17 21:13

Crowd is still shouting and booing during commercial break. Certainly worse than the playoffs series. No update on 29’s status.

</aside>

<aside> 🤣 @heiren14 Nov 17 21:15

Did that rat fucking KILL draisaitl or what jfc

</aside>

<aside> 🛡️ @NHLPA Nov 17 21:16

Alex Pietrangelo has been suspended for two games following his check on Leon Draisaitl.

</aside>

<aside> 🏒 @EdmontonOilers Nov 17 21:22

#Oilers forward Leon Draisaitl will not be returning to the game against Vegas.

</aside>

<aside> 🤪 @jmkd4928 Nov 17 21:23

did anyone else see the cat

</aside>

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ROGERS PLACE - Nov 17 202x 22:35

Mace looks up to see one of the Oilers’ PR guys staring at him. “Hi Brian.”

Brian is seemingly struggling with some sort of shape in his arms. "Are you good with cats?"

"I... like them?"

"Good enough," he says, and dumps a furry mass onto Mace’s desk.